<therapy session>

Okay so I’ve been having a little bit of writer’s block. I’ve been so busy with so many projects that sometimes I just sit there ready to write from having a ginormous spurt of inspiration and it just disappears because my mind goes onto something else I need to be doing.

I call you a smartypants later in this post. But do you know what this is?

This is the phenomenon that we will be exploring today. It’s called Taking On Too Much. This may seem like a not-so-creative term for the concept, but it just goes to prove what I’m talking about re: my writer’s block.

Since this blog is supposed to be therapy for me, I decided to try and use it for that and perhaps it will help! On television, therapy is usually when someone pays a lot of money to talk about their own stuff and figure things out all by themselves with the occasional breakdown. So here goes. I won’t be paying you lots of money, but I hope you have your tissue box and your armchair ready, because I’m lying on a couch and about to unleash. (It’s a figurative couch. I already said I’m busy, I clearly don’t have time to be lying on a couch.)

My whole life I’ve been the kind of person to get super excited about something and go crazy… and then something else and go crazy even more, and on and on. I would copy and paste that repeatedly, but I’m sure you get the idea. (See, I think you’re a smartypants. Feel special!)

In elementary school the idea came from somewhere to start a school-wide advice column called Advice Device. Pretty sure it wasn’t my idea, but I like to take the credit, because I took it and ran with it, and then implemented it in every school I went to after that (4, in case you were wondering). That was the time I learned that I enjoyed Doing Things, and I haven’t stopped keeping busy since.

More recently, and mainly because school was getting boring and LONG (I am an instant-gratification-desiring type of person), I decided I should start a business. Mainly to be able to say that I have my own business. And then I got funding. And I realised it was actually something I liked doing. So I started another one. And then got involved in a few more. So now I am a serial entrepreneur. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m super successful (yet) but I will be Very Soon. (I am sure of this because I am working so hard I haven’t posted in a week on something I’ve discovered I love! Also I’m an optimist.)

This is a cereal entrepreneur. Although it sounds the same, it is not what I am.

A friend suggested that I probably suffer from depression or something and am scared to be left alone with my thoughts. But then he took it back because he knows I’m a really happy person. (And then he said I was too happy. And that it’s probably some other mental disorder. I do have ADHD!)

I know I often take on too much. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I learn lots! Especially time management. Kinda. The hugest plus for me is that I get to learn so much about so many things, and about myself. I love when I can take something, ingest it, and regurgitate it with my own juices and leave people impressed. (That’s not something that happens often with regurgitation! Like the couch, this regurgitation is also figurative. I take no blame for you imagining it.)

I look kind of young and that, combined with my (occasionally noticeable) hyperness and the fact that I am a female, often leaves people I meet in professional situations for the first time doubtful of my abilities. Especially with old grey-hair-having businessmen. (The older version of the common businessman tends to be a know-it-all.) All the things I learn from sticking myself in all these different situations and doing a whole bunch of different things allow me to often shove their doubts back in their faces, but in a nice way. It’s wicked.

Well, there we go. Just letting things flow ended up in a post! Thanks for listening.

</therapy session>

We’ve all done it. Come up with your own signature words that you feel are so smart and when you say them you get this smug feeling bubbling up inside. Unfortunately, you either forget them or they just don’t take off and you end up back at the drawing board.

One of my words is douché. (COME ON, IT’S BRILLIANT!!) Douche is just a regular word people have taken to calling… douches. But what about the scenario when you say something you think is oh so smart and you get that bubbly smug feeling from saying it and then someone rebukes your brilliance and points out that you are, in fact, an idiot. You felt so good, and they just took it away. When that happens, you NEED a word to call the other person. But at the same time, you know they had some truth in their rebuking, and maybe you are, even if only 10% so, an idiot. So you want to be like fine, you were right, but at the same time not give in and look like a spineless jellyfish. (Is there such a thing as a spined jellyfish?)

No, no there isn't. Apparently the only kind of jellyfish is a spineless one. You learn something new every day! (At least... I do.)

 
This is where DOUCHÉ (pronounced doosh-ay) comes in! Ta-da! You grant them the satisfaction of being right with your ‘touché!’, but you call them a douche AT THE SAME TIME!

Unfortunately, this term often requires some explaining because the douche that righted your wrong doesn’t get it. It’s okay, all great things take education first, like the photocopier. Like anyone knew how to use that shit when it first launched. It was revolutionary.

But now, herein lies the problem which I face. It loses its mojo when I explain it. Some smartass once said that analysing a joke is like dissecting a frog. You can do it, but the frog tends to die in the process. I wish it didn’t have to be true (especially since I love frogs and clearly don’t want them to die), but it seems that it is.

Solution? DO TELL.

(I never know how to leave posts. They’re not a letter, so you can’t be like

Love,
me.

but anything else I think would be cool to sign off with sounds douchey and/or generic when it goes out of my head and onto the screen. Like

Peace and love!

or

Thanks for reading!

What is that?! Until I figure it out, you should get used to posts ending abruptly. Which could actually be cool. It could be my signature thing?! Who needs cool words when I can just end shit abruptl-)

I hate small talk. I love weird talk. This beginning is bizzare, I know.

What’s the difference? Conversation like

“Hello.”
“Hey! How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?”
“Perfectly fine! What have you been doing?”

can go fuck itself. i am not impressed. Excuse the language. There are few things I dislike more than having to make polite conversation with someone I don’t really care about… or that I could care about but it would take too much small talk before we got down to the stuff I would actually be interested in. It’s such a waste of time.

The conversation representing weird talk would be more like this (perhaps an extreme example, but go with me here).

“HEY. I want a hooorse.”
“Why are u being so whiney! What would you name it?”
“Tarantula! It would be wicked cool to have a horse with an identity disorder, not schizophrenia though. That would be creepy! Also i don’t think they have mental institutions for horses, you know, worst case scenario.”
“Tru dat homie!”

…and this is somewhat typical of the conversations I have in my head oftentimes. And actually quite often with my closest friends. Really, if you can’t be goofy with them, who can you be goofy with? Goofy friends are the best friends.

Weird talk also contains a lot of intelligence. It’s clearly VERY well disguised, but you have to have a certain level of smarts to get it, appreciate it, and be able to contribute. It’s also where incredible ideas are born. You’ll see!

Hope you enjoy!

P.S. The original point of the point of this post was to say that it’ll be nice to have a place to output my insanity. Expect doodles, ramblings, excerpts of my textually active moments, and other stuff. Actually… don’t expect anything. I have no idea what this is going to turn out to be. Aside from a playground for the insane part of my mind.